If you’ve read the title, I know you’re probably singing the chorus from the gorgeous and amazingly talented Monica’s song “Still Standing.” When I first heard the song in 2009, I was in college, living my absolute not best life. I was dealing with the aftermath of family, friendship, and relationship drama, all while trying to stay above a 2.5 GPA to keep my Taylor Opportunity Program for Students (TOPS) scholarship. Saying I felt beaten down would be an understatement, especially after taking so many hits. Yet, there was one thing that remained constant throughout the whole ordeal: I was still standing.

Even though I didn’t realize it at the time, staying in the ring was the only way I could keep taking hits. Had I thrown in the towel, or been KO’d, the fight would’ve been over. There would’ve been no victory. Fighting my way through was the only way I could see this thing through. I had to be willing to lose some rounds, knowing I had a better chance of winning others. I also had to be willing to step into the ring alone, knowing that only God would be with me. And to be completely honest, I didn’t always know that God was with me; I felt my loneliness more than His presence. But there was a fire deep within me that wouldn’t let me give in, and a sweet voice whispering that I couldn’t give up.

While my experiences may differ from yours, I’m sure we can agree that we all encounter adversity at some point in our lives, some more than others. However, there’s only one thing that separates us: how we face it. Some of us look for temporary solutions to numb the pain externally, while the rest of us look for permanent solutions to address the problem internally. You can always tell which choice we’ve made in the end based on whether we’re still standing . . . or not.

So, just how do you stay in the fight against adversity and win? By keeping these four things in mind as you build an unbeatable strategy:

• Accept that adversity is inevitable. Since the beginning of time, people have faced adversity. There’s always been some hardship, inconvenience, or problem that interrupts the natural course of life. However, so many of us think we have the secret formula for avoiding adversity altogether, or at least eliminating the discomfort that accompanies it. Then we have the nerve to be surprised (and sometimes livid) when we still experience it anyway. The truth is, you cannot avoid adversity because it’s often beyond your control. But you can choose to accept that you’re not invincible. You’re simply human, and that’s okay.

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• Acknowledge that adversity is necessary for growth. So many of us aspire to be like our favorite athletes, CEOs, entertainers, leaders, musicians, or politicians, often thinking they became a success overnight. What we fail to realize is, no one changes overnight. There’s so much that happens in between being where we are today and where we’ll be in the future. The challenges we face fill up most of that space. As we navigate adverse times, each decision we make shapes us and molds us, making us different than before. Though it might seem as if you’re at a standstill today, one day you’ll look back and see you were progressing all along.

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• Appreciate the lessons adversity teaches you. This one is a hard one. I mean, who wants to admit that uncomfortable moments can actually teach you something? And even if they did, what could you possibly learn from pain? I’m here to tell you that you can learn a lot from it. How would you know where to focus your attention if your brain didn’t signal that you were in distress? I had to be broke, depressed, isolated, and overwhelmed more than once before realizing that I needed help letting go of my pride, low self-esteem, and hyper independence. Even though some adverse moments taught me I was stronger than I thought, I also learned I didn’t have to carry everything alone. Regardless of what your pain points are, they’re there to get your attention. And once they’ve gotten it, be sure to listen up and take notes to apply what you’ve learned to the next phase of your life.

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• Always know you’re never alone. If there’s nothing else you take away from this topic, please know you’re never alone. God is always with you. It took years for me to discover that my troubles felt so burdensome because I didn’t know I could hand them over to God. He never intended for us to carry that weight alone. Whether unfortunate circumstances or personal choices lead us to adversity, God uses them to bring us closer to Him. I’m not talking about us drawing nearer to Him only for a season; I’m talking about staying close to Him whether things change or not. Knowing who’s with you gives you a sense of confidence that can’t be matched because it’s above all earthly things. When you walk with that boldness, you understand that nothing and no one can stop you, and you welcome the opportunity to trust God more.

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With these four tactics, you’re ready to start training for the big fight against adversity. If you haven’t noticed, it all starts with the mind. Once you shift from being a “victim” (e.g., wondering why is this happening to me) to a “victor” (e.g., asking what can I learn from this), you’re guaranteed to be still standing each and every time.

 

Confess with Me: I can trust God to see me through moments of adversity. He’s got everything under control.